The rapid development of modern
information technology has greatly improved the ability of human stored
knowledge and the propagation velocity of information. The globalization of the
network make use of the information that is no longer subject to time and space
constraints, network users can access internet anytime to various information
systems, and this is the most efficient and convenient way to obtain the
required information.
Internet as a one of the most fast carrier to transport information and resources in modern
society, it makes our life more convenient
and give us more knowledge. Thus, the progress of human
society requires the convenient features of internet;
human knowledge can be more quickly and
appropriately improved only when
accumulated more idea.
[No library today can be expected to directly hold all of the resources
to fulfill all the needs of its users. Rather, most libraries supplement their
local collections through resource-sharing arrangements that allow them to
offer their clientele access to a broader universe of materials.] (Breeding
Marshal) According to Breeding Marshal said, I believe internet plays an
important role in support of resource sharing, even library uses internet as a
effective way to sharing and offer people articles and knowledge.
I can understand some of the people said
there are some harmful sides of sharing articles and information on the
internet. Some people thought although the information technology is rapid
developing, so that we can save much more time for put those information and
articles online, digital technology also makes it easier to share the
information. However, human knowledge is created in different languages,
different history background, different publication types and different carriers,
so online literature information resource is not standardized yet, that makes online
information very complex, and making them very difficult to be used in a effective
way. Also internet is an open system, everyone can share
information on the internet, and any individuals and groups cannot interfere in other
people's online behavior. Then cause information uncontrolled and disordered, making information on the Internet
very massive, this characteristics of
the Internet itself causing information pollution.
However, we all have to admit that
internet changes the way our society works. One of the most strongest thesis is
that in the last few years is information sharing on the internet. In a very
short period of time, Facebook, Wikipedia, Twitter and YouTube have all become
a part of modern life, while people are sharing everything on the internet or
on their personal websites. Moreover, users do not need any software, without
any advanced technical training, people can choose to add a huge variety of space
and upload their own observations and knowledge.
We can't deny that sharing and getting
information on the internet have become a big part of our life. Then what we
need to do is that try our best to keep the internet environment clean, because
we need to look at the whole picture, not just its parts. Secondly, we need to
share information better. I think the internet environment will be better if
most of the netizen are responsible for the information they shared. Internet engineering
can help resolve many of the system problems, but not those information shared
by the netizen all over the world. The thing we can do is to be responsible to
the works we did or the things we shared on the internet.
In conclusion, I personally learnt a lot
of things through rational use of network. I can't imagine if there is no such
a rapid and convenient place which contains all the excellent resources that
can truly reflect their own values. At the same time, I believe this problem
may make a lot of people that very sensitive and may still be the focus of peoples
talking, those opinions listed below are just me as an ordinary netizen to
express my personal views.
Works Cited
Breeding, Marshall.
"Introduction to Resource Sharing." Library Technology Reports, 49.1
(2013): 5-11.
"Sharing
is Everything." Geospatial Today, (2012).
- The introduction is clear because it gave me an idea about the topic, which is sharing information through the Internet. The thesis is there: network users can access internet anytime to various information systems, and this is the most efficient and convenient way to obtain the required information. It is a good thesis because it has a claim. However, I think it would be better if you explain a little bit more about how it is convenient and efficient. Moreover, I think it missed a stand or position, what would you think about this process what you are going to argue, or what is you attitude toward this issue, with or against?
ReplyDelete- The first body paragraph started to support the thesis then I understood you stand. First topic sentence was about how the Internet is good and how it is used recently by people positively to transport information. And in your second body paragraph, I was confused; did you change your attitude because you said “information pollution” is you with or against it? I don’t think that this doesn’t support your thesis because it’s started to discuses the negative side about your topic and I couldn’t catch up your attitude in this paragraph.
- I think your body paragraph are going to be stronger if you just focused on one side of the issue, with or against. I found that you tend to be against the way of sharing information on the internet because most of your body paragraphs are taking this attitude. However, based on my point of view, they are a little weak because there is no enough details support the topic sentences in each paragraph. Using quotes from different recent articles to show an example or an expert’s opinion is going to support your claim.
- I would like to see more details in your paragraphs to show why it is bad. Also, some others attitude against yours in order to have a strong argument.
- The transitions in your essay is clear enough to be followed but keep on doing that when adding more details which are going to support your claims.
- Overall, you had a grate job using MLA format and relevant sources but don’t forget to use more sources using the library search and free culture. Good luck :*
I think you need to put your thesis in your first paragraph. I couldn't find your argument, except for some pieces of information, through whole essay. (Essay basically should be contain "for or against" argument.)
ReplyDeleteOnce you have finished your argument, you would need more sources and examples of how network sharing works.
I recommend you to change counter argument. I don't get a relation between your argument and counter argument.
-overall-
in your 2nd paragraph, Breeding Marshal's quote should be "quote sandwich" and you actually wrote in wrong way. According to MLA style, you may use " " instead [ ].
In your work cited page, you would better to take a tap for each resources .
I enjoyed reading your essay, you did have a thesis in your Introduction but near the middle of your essay you drifted away from the point of your thesis. Remember to stay on your main topic and prove it with reliable sources.
ReplyDeleteWhen quoting, use the quote sandwich system. First introduce the writer and his/her book, then put in the quote, and finally explain the quote.
In your conclusion, don't start it with "In conclusion". Take that out and your conclusion will be more effective. Also remember what your thesis is and don't drift from the topic, because in your conclusion you stated a new thesis.
Im not sure if I found your thesis in the intro, I didn't see a "although" or "because". it really helps using those 2 in your thesis.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Sangman because i didn't get your argument and counterargument, it didn't really relate with one another.
Over all the flow of the essay was pretty good and I never got lost reading the essay.
Yes the transitions between paragraph to new paragraph are good and are understandable.
Yes the works cited page is in MLA format.
Firstly, I am really enjoy your essay because it was clear so that I did not get loss when I read your essay.
ReplyDeleteBut I have a small suggestion for you which is use more quote to support your essay and it is better to use quote for every paragraph it can make you essay more academic.